The Food Security Host ! The Saints Sermon !

All right we are Chefs! So What? If it’s about Food, it’s in our business and we shall have an opinion. To be able to voice it is a fundamental right guaranteed by the constitution of our great country & the ability to do so , ummmm....errrr ..........well, does come to but a few & that too from deep within.

Yes! The ‘national food security bill’ has been passed & UPA-2 is beating its drums over it. So are we to believe it’s something as historic as it is being made to sound. To start with I must ask if  ‘Food Security Bill’ is about hiring a security agency to protect our food or perhaps even our dilapidated FCI godowns. Wish the plan was all about it though.

This actually is a project of mammoth proportions & is supposed to guarantee subsidized food to two thirds of India's 1.2 billion people. 2/3 of 1.2 billion is a substantial number and to guarantee them supplies year round requires a hell lot of food. The project on paper sounds like poetry which can make Keats, Shelley and Stevenson look shoddy. So is it as good? It must be, for it did go through parliament without much of the traditional fun, fervor and filth, which our parliament now has gained infamy for (globally).

To understand the scheme, one needs the knowledge of a chef’s arithmetic, since we are the ones who generally cater to large gatherings. So let’s decode the UPA-2’s recipe here.
Let’s see how a chef would have calculated if he was in charge of this over-sized party invite sponsored by our Government (actually it’s us).

The arithmetic is as under:
1.2 billion = 1.2 X 1,000,000,000,000 = 1,200,000,000,000
2/3 of 1,200,000,000,000 = 1,799,999,999,100
Guaranteed Ration per person = 5 KG per month
Total grain requirement per month = 1,799,999,999,100 X 5 = 8,999,999,995,500 KGs (wooooow !!!)
Total grain requirement per year = 8,999,999,995,500 X 12 = 107,999,999,946,000 KGs

For the average middle class citizen of our country wheat @ Rs.44/KG is what suits the pocket. Let’s presume 50% of this price comprises of commissions to middle men. So the actual price paid to the farmer is approximately Rs.20/KG. Now it’s after buying it at the rate of Rs.20/KG that the Government is actually planning to distribute it at Rs.3/KG.
Here are a few questions coming to my mind at this point.

Question 1 - When the world knows that the Indian government has decided to buy such a quantum of grains, will the price remain at Rs.20/KG or will it shoot up??????? So if the price shoots up by 50% in the 1st year, the subsidy which is supposed to be Rs.17/KG (20-3) will shoot up to Rs. 27/KG (30-3). This is bound to happen due to the sudden impact of such a huge purchase order which will create a demand supply divide and hence the shoot up in pricing. Which means the government will increase its budgets to buy the grains at the hiked up prices. Can you then imagine the purse of the Minister for Civil Supplies? It’s a cool Rs. 30 X 8,999,999,995,500 = Rs. 269999999865000 (for the 1st year). When the Government is out with such a purchase order, imagine the results of even a hint of a famine or a drought. It will bring them a bounty. Declare scarcity & buy at even higher prices from across the globe. We have the last minute price hikes of CWG as live examples for the negotiation skills of our Government mechanism. The more they negotiated the higher the price we ended up paying.

Question 2.  Am I part of this scheme of activities??? Sorry Sir!  You are part of the other side. The 1/3 of the population of India that sponsors this bonanza & unlike the IPL there are no free passes here for the sponsors.

Question 3. But isn’t there anything in this for me AT ALL??? Of course there is!! After the government has done its deed, I will get free management lessons (on dealing with the inflation) & a better heath (with BMI under absolute control). What else can be expected, when the result of this bonanza has been predicted to be a minimum 50% hike in food inflation by economists galore. I am the 'Food Security Host'.

Question 4. And who is the F&B Manager of this catering company?? The entire melee has been designed to be executed by the corrupt and defunct PDS system. Check out the plight of government granaries on the Delhi – Chandigarh road or at the Gurgaon - Palwal road (via Sohna) to decide. You can see Thousands of sacks of grains kept in the open, with just a polythene sheet for protection. They rot in the heavy moisture laden winds and are infested by pests. Within a month or two of procurement the entire purchase can  be certified unfit for human consumption by even the most corrupt food inspector (you will however need to ask him to eat a bowlful of that rice to get this done though). One doesn’t need Einstein’s brains to figure out what % of the actual purchase will actually reach the intended masses. I shall be glad if it’s in double digits. Again going by CWG figures. In a nutshell, grains are to be bought to create a scarcity. A few make loads of money in that process then redirect it to the eagerly waiting mafia (of late called the Retail Marts) & sell the grains at double the prices to the tax payer and make even more money.

Question 5. So how/why did this bill pass through? Kudos to whoever put up this scheme. He/she definitely has a very fertile brain. The government & the opposition both finds the numbers involved too big to ignore. Even a 10% of that sum adds up to the GDP of some smaller countries. Net result is that post the next elections; I predict a major power struggle for the two concerned ministries. Public Distribution and Agriculture. The biggest stalwarts will be seen battling it out (literally) for the spoils.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never teach the population to fish, just give them subsidized fishes instead and make merry.

The Chef’s Remedy: A minor tweak to the program name can however remove all the cloud of doubt over it. Just call the scheme ‘International Food Security Bill’. Beneficiaries of this program anyways are citizens of Mauritius, Switzerland, Cayman Islands, Bahrain and the other tax havens, so nothing wrong in calling a spade, ‘A SPADE’.

As a Food Professional nothing pains me more than seeing someone go hungry. You feel like helping then, but it’s a different feeling when you see hunger of this kind.

It’s time for us professionals to wake up and paint the wall with ink.
Do you agree with The Saint on this? Even a little bit? Please let me know your take on this.

Cheers..........DK

‘Every Saint Has A Past & Every Sinner Has A Future’

Vegetarian today ... Cow Tomorrow -- The Sinner's Venom !!

                                    "Mary had a little lamb  ... and it was very tasty!!”

 Disclaimer :  I have nothing against Vegetarians ! In fact half my family (in-laws) and some of my closest pals are vegetarians. I love them all dearly. I do believe that every individual has a choice to practise any diet form, just like individuals differ in choice of music, clothes or even cinema!

What I am actually against is when group of individual becomes judgemental and assumes a very high moral ground and looks down upon another group of people, purely because, they don’t subscribe to one particular diet philosophy.  Nearly every meat-eater like me, would have had at least one unfortunate encounter with a righteous vegetarian at some point. Usually, it’s just moments before you are about to stuff your saliva-engulfed mouth with a juicy chicken leg or kebab!  Regardless of the location, there’s a good chance you were forced to endure a long-winded treatise about animal suffering that compared your own dietary habits to cannibalism!!!  

‘Saint’ DK is a very dear friend, and I agree with a lot that he says in his last post. I, however, cannot stomach the fact that, I have been subtly termed a ‘mass murderer’ purely because I enjoy meat! (That ‘stomach-being-a-graveyard’ comment really got my goat)!

I am hence going to present plain facts. Drawn from various researched documents, and mind you none of this have any affiliations to any meat corporation or the like! I would like intersperse these with my sense of logic and reasoning and put an end to this debate.. Once and for all ! 

So here goes.. listed below are some points that have always been contentious ! 

 Morality and Ethics : This is often the first line of attack !

Most vegetarians (especially, the ones on the cusp of Sainthood!!), argue that God’s creatures shouldn’t be sacrificed simply to appease our hunger pangs or cravings for juicy kebabs (back to that graveyard comment- Shit  ... can’t get it out of my mind!!). While, I do see their point of view, to some extent, I also strongly feel, this rationale also reeks of hypocrisy.

 Now , though the vegetarians, make a huge hue and cry about slaughtering animals for food, they find it perfectly acceptable to tear carrots out of the earth or shove a zucchini into a high-speed blender. Mercilessly chopping up coriander or parsley, or plucking out leaves, buds, roots and even flowers out of plants is not considered deviant behaviour! Like it or not, plants are also living organisms that respond to stimuli like light, gravity and touch. In fact, some groups even believe plants can feel pain. Take the Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology, for instance. This Swiss group recently came out in defence of our leafy green friends in a report on “the dignity of the creature in the plant world.”

My second point of contention is, meat-eaters are vehemently urged to quit eating meat. The logic being, if we all decided to quit eating meat, fewer animals would die. WHAT ABOUT LEATHER ?? Where does that come from? Plants?? Most vegetarians do not even consider the fact that some animal must have died for them to wear that shiny shoe, or belt or even the purse/wallet!! Hypocrisy, I tell you!

 This brings up the point that when animals are slaughtered - nothing is left to waste. There are animal by-products in gelatine, lipstick, even in car tyres.

Health : The claims that Vegetarian Food is Healthier

The argument that vegetarian way of life is healthier also makes little sense. Although I certainly won’t discredit the many benefits of a vegetarian diet, there’s enough data and research to prove that a well-balanced omnivorous diet is a far healthier choice. It does not take a rocket scientist to know that a purely vegetarian diet might not have enough  Vitamin D, B12 and iron , which if not supplemented makes one dangerously anaemic! Vegetarians also typically miss out on omega-3 fatty acids ( I know , some will say flaxseeds and almonds.. but the quantity does not match up to the quantity available in a single portion of salmon or cod!)  These unsaturated acids have been proved to slow the progression of atherosclerosis, reduce triglyceride levels, act as anti-inflammatory agents, and potentially help with depression and some personality disorders.

Also, I would hereby also look at big alternate source of protein for vegetarians – soya proteins!  Now these have been heralded as the best protein fix for the Vegetarians and now they are available in different, hold your breath, meat flavours ---- Called mock meats!

  I merely googled what went into the making of the most popular soya product – tofu, specifically turkey flavoured Tofu!   This is what I found….. “Water, vital wheat gluten (????), organic tofu (water, organic soybeans, magnesium chloride, calcium chloride), expeller pressed non-hexane extracted isolated soy protein, expeller pressed canola oil, spices, sea salt, onion powder, evaporated cane juice, pepper, natural vegetarian flavours, natural smoke flavour, granulated garlic, xanthium gum, konjac flour, carrageenan. “  I rest my case here!

The Environment:  I have been bombarded with these issues also!

Raising farm animals, and cultivation of meats are deemed environmentally harmful! I do not deny that at all. However, on the same topic, let us also look into the cultivation of fruits and vegetables. Consider this: the vast majority of non-organic farms still use pesticides and insecticides that kill off just as many beneficial organisms as pests, thereby leaving nature’s delicate balance in disarray. These dangerous chemicals also frequently leach into water supplies where they can cause harmful neurological effects when consumed by humans and animals alike. Speaking of water, the cultivation of vegetables requires vast amounts of it, which in turn can cause water shortages and, in extreme cases, drought. Fruit and vegetable farms also harm the environment through the burning of agricultural waste and the production of oxide emissions from nitrogen fertilizer.

While we’re on the topic of air pollution, it should be noted that vegetarians also produce more gas than meat-eaters. The problem lies in the human body's inability to fully digest the complex carbohydrates in the vegetarian diet, resulting in higher production of gases like hydrogen, carbon dioxide and methane. This again is a substantiated study !! So next time you get a noseful in a crowd, look very hard at the vegetarian in the group!! Just kidding !

 In our modern age, it’s taken as read that eating meat is a bigger planet killer than chowing down on tofu. But that’s not always the case. For example, compare organically reared animals with industrially produced tofu. The quantities of land needed are greater, the treatment and harvesting of the soya involves more fossil fuels, and the end product often has to be shipped great distances if you live somewhere like Britain—where the climate is really, really bad for growing meat substitutes. Simply put: that tasteless tofu burger you’re forcing down to preserve our planet’s future may actually be more atmosphere-frying than the delicious hunk of beef being eaten by that smug bastard across the table from you. (Source: Listverse.com)

 Physiologically and Natural indicators !

My argument for meat eaters begins at the beginning, Evolution. Man was a natural hunter, who hunted for his food. So physiologically and temperamentally, our bodies have been built for consuming meat.  We don’t have the teeth of vegetarian animals - our incisors and canines are the teeth of meat eaters. Without these teeth our ancestors would not have survived. Moreover, If we were made to eat only plants, wouldn't we have multiple stomach compartments, like cows? Our stomach's production of hydrochloric acid, something not found in herbivores. HCL activates protein-splitting enzymes. Further, the human pancreas manufactures a full range of digestive enzymes to handle a wide variety of foods, both animal and vegetable.

Researchers at Oxford University recently followed 35,000 individuals aged 20 to 89 for a period of five years and discovered that vegans are 30% more likely to break a bone than their vegetarian and flesh-eating peers. A subsequent study conducted by Sydney’s Garvan Institute for Medical Research found that vegetarians had bones 5% less dense than meat-eaters. This can be attributed to the fact that many vegetarians and vegans consume very little calcium due to the limitations of their diet. ( source Askmen.com)

Traditions and Social issues :  Another hot topic of debate

DK vented out against Turkey being consumed at Christmas and Goats being slaughtered at Id.  He also raised a valid questions pertaining to the origin of the practise and its current ramifications. He also spewed venom at the Halal process of slaughtering. I agree halal is cruel and maybe, even inhuman. I also believe that, it is an escape psychology of humans to rid them of the guilt of slaughter, by giving halal a spiritual and humane connotation.  I completely agree with him on that score. (You see we do agree on issues too!) .

All I want to register here is the fact that, we do a lot of wasteful and harmful things in the name of tradition. Like, colours and bhaang for Holi, crackers at Diwali, rakhi at raksha bandhan, popcorns and revadis at lohri  (not to mention the wood burnt for bonfire ) etc etc.. A lot of temples use milk to bathe the deity! Millions of Rupees are wasted, not to mention the environmental hazards involved.  The question is are we going to shun all these?

Where do we draw the line? Who takes the morality call? What is right and what is wrong? Which side would one take? The Vedic Scrip

 

tures or the science books? The modern consciousness or traditional values? The KFCs or the Vaishno Bhojanalayas ? … THE SAINT OR THE SINNER ? 

My answer, very simple, predictably. Between a Juicy Chicken Pasanda Kebab and a Paneer Pasanda kebab, I will inevitably gravitate towards the Chicken!! Absolutely sure which way DK will go too!!

Non-Veg Today, Cannibal Tomorrow.............The Saint's Sermon !

It was the evening of 31st July 1997 and many things were realized as I lay on my couch. The very next day I took control of my life & decided to go veggie. Over the next few months I bore the pain of being ridiculed for this decision of mine and I have since been termed ‘bovine’.

Personally I find this connotation extremely demeaning, because the addresser by saying so only ridicules his own staple diet, ie. vegetable matter.

I often wondered why veg food is considered inferior and heavy introspection took me back to school. That’s when our basic thinking was tampered with by our ‘science’ books. The books said that only non-veg food had all the great & powerful proteins. Animal proteins it said were essential for a healthy living. The images featured on the text book of a balanced meal had a skinned chicken, a bunch of eggs, a bottle of milk. It also said “...vegetarians could consume ‘pulses’ as an alternate source of ‘proteins’. This perhaps explains the stigma. If one goes by these books, the veggies are an inferior lot of beings. But is it so? I guess not!

So what made the text books write so? Hours of tedious research over the internet suggested that the result of any research is more often defined by the purpose of the research. For example: A petroleum company shall only fund projects to stretch the mile. They won’t ever ask/let the researcher find an engine that can run on water/air. Similarly its but obvious to get only positive affirmations when a research on the effects of ‘meats’ are FUNDED by the meat, poultry or fishery industry. Yes! It’s a fact that such propaganda based on ‘scientific studies’ started to do the rounds particularly in obscure & unheard of journals only during or after the industrial revolution in the west, when three things happened simultaneously.

1. Animal rearers' wanted to earn as much as the industrialists did

2. A lot more money started to come into the hands of the petty laborer and the animal        rearers' saw an opportunity there, and lastly

3. The coming up of the print MEDIA

All these were put together by the meat industry during their corporatization and they started funding one research after the other. The findings of these hoax scientists were published in many scientific journals (for many million dollars) to make them seem the most logical of findings. It’s these reports that our school boards refer to for their knowledge base & knowingly or unknowingly went on to promote the already thriving business of the meat ‘czars’. A pity! What these journals will never tell you is the fact that the process of slaughtering puts any animal through severe stress, during which the animals’ basic instinct for survival sets in & its body pumps in loads of adrenaline. The mere presence of this secretion in flesh is toxic enough to negate all the positives one can ever find in eating meat.

Apart from the above facts, I do find absolute comfort in the fact that my stomach is not a graveyard to animals anymore. When I can manage a meal without killing, I don’t see the need to kill. I shall not kill unless its a survival issue, for that is always the very last option. I feel that’s what being civilized is all about. But is that what is happening around us?

It’s simply bizarre and unreasonable that turkeys around the globe pay with their lives because Christians get into festive mode in December. I don’t think Christ ever asked his followers to roast a turkey (or any other animal) to celebrate his birth. So who exactly then sent out this dictat? Please think & derive the answers for yourself. Simple! Turkeys don’t grow as fast as chicken, so plotting them for a higher price gets the ‘meat’ industry a fatter slice from your X’mas Bonus. Chicken for regular days & Turkey for when you have more money!

Equally shrouded in ambiguity is the reason for the slaughter of animals in the name of Islamic festivals. If by any chance one is put to the gallows and asked to choose his execution style, I wonder how many shall opt for death by the ‘halal’ method. To bleed to your death due to a ruptured jugular is THE most painful way to die. The process is so grotesque that the victim actually watches itself die.

This appeasement of one’s taste buds in the name of religion must end!

The process of Civilization shall be complete only when our hearts shall extend unhindered love and compassion to all creatures of the world.

 The Vedic scriptures highlight the role of the diet one consumes in shaping his/her nature with the following words.

“One’s nature can be controlled by the type of diet one predominately eats. ‘Satwik’ food is not excessively spicy. It is also juicy, substantial (like rice, beans), and results in longevity and makes you happy.  ‘Rajasik’ food is bitter, sour, salty, very hot, spicy, burning, rough, abrasive, and pungent. ‘Rajasik’ food results in grief and unhappiness! ‘Tamasik’ food is stinking, left-over, impure, stale or cooked overnight”

A satwik diet, also referred to as a yoga diet or sentient diet, is a diet based on foods that—according to Ayurveda and Yoga are strong in the ‘Satwa Guna’ and lead to clarity and equanimity of mind while also being beneficial to the body.


In my reading a Vegan / vegetarian food is predominantly ‘Satwik’. Going by the above findings the ‘conscious vegetarian’ can definitely claim that he is more evolved in the process of civilization and he can safely presume that he has achieved a higher ground in the spiritual plane.

I am keen to know your take on this issue, since the subject is in the larger interest of humanity in general. For as Gandhi Ji said, “There’s enough in this world for every man’s need, but not enough for any man’s greed.”

Here’s wishing for a more civilized world.............Saint DK

Every Saint Has A Past & Every Sinner Has A Future

The Assault Of The Critic – The Saints Counter!

‘Sinner’ TP is justified in his outburst against the tirade of the ‘so called’ food critics. No, I am not patronizing my friend, but just letting it be, since he is definitely one of the them who has been affected by one too many Critic.

I have however no such inhibitions. In fact I realized it way too early in my career that I was getting into a career, which any Tommy, Dick or Harry can get into a debate on and also give expert opinions on. I took it in my stride and let the tongues wag. I would let them go ahead & describe what the most ideal pastry should be like. They would just go berserk with their yapping & while all this happens I present him a pastry. It’s silence after that for some time. I had heard what he likes & had incorporated them all into that small piece of culinary art. It’s just a smile after that.  I had learnt that good chefs speak less & listen more! That but isn’t the virtue a ‘critic’ brings to the table. 

The ‘Critic’ infact is a wrong term coined by the media in recent times to denote someone who actually does the tough job of scanning the markets for interesting food & beverage outlets, concepts & combinations & trends. They then run the terrible risk of consuming them earlier than most (now that’s treading uncharted territories) & reporting their version of the experience. In a way they act as a EWS (Early Warning System) in our trade.

In an experience based industry there’s yet to come up a more authentic way to present the fares of a restaurant than to get genuine people to write about their personal experiences. Genuine people do write, but only on the comments cards of the restaurant & the world cares two hoots about it. In more recent times some more boisterous souls post things online about their culinary adventure for two reasons. One; to tell people that he/she was there.  Two: to get people to believe it that he/she could afford to be there. Well, fact is neither the comment card nor the facebook post reaches 200,000 people on a guaranteed basis. Unless the person tweeting is King Khan himself, but when he does it, people do take notice. However shortly after the Khan’s gone the owner of the restaurant is seen with his pants down & the world gets more reasons to gossip about orientations and the cost of being in business.  Actually the cost of that one tweet or pic weighs too much for the buckles to hold up the trousers.

So you are back to where we started from. With the Food Critic. For the only other thing with some kind of credibility attached in our country is the media.  As a marketing man I have gone scouting to many a publication only to invite its ‘food critics’ to come & report our fare. Undoubtedly a positive report has lead to higher awareness of your product & a significant increment in the demand for your fare.

Does doing that much transform a Food Reporter/Correspondent into a food critic though? NAY!!! To be a critic means a whole lot more. To criticise someone (positively of course) one must have through knowledge of the subject, which unfortunately most food critics don’t. That’s what my friend ‘the sinner’ is blaring out loud. So is he wrong in saying that? Well if he is, then so are all the others in the media. For doing the same job of reporting news from main streams like politics and business, you still call the journalist a reporter or a correspondent. It somehow doesn’t seem to make them neither a ‘political critic’ nor a ‘business critic’.

Food is a matter of personal preferences and it’s a known fact that preferences changes with time. During my stints in Dubai & Abu Dhabi, I used to find my options very limited being a vegetarian. What were available were just Falafel Rolls with pickled vegetables & Zaatar Bread. Both have very unique tastes. On day one I liked neither. However as time progressed & I was forced to eat them time and again, I developed a taste for them. Now, if I were a critic I would have trashed it on day 1 and sang songs about it on day 40. Fact is the dishes remained the same only my opinion had changed. 40 days into the land I had understood the geography of the place & realized how difficult it was to grow vegetables in that arid land. I then suddenly developed a lot of respect for the locals who understood the sensibilities of the few vegetarians in their country & putting up something on the menu, so that we dint go to bed hungry. Now, I wasn’t appreciating the food as much, but it was the thought behind the effort that seemed stupendous. It’s these finer aspects of a cuisine that critics minus in-depth understanding of cuisines lack. 

The emotion a Chef goes through when you compare his food with someone else’s is very similar to that of mothers, if you compare her child with someone else’s. Besides Food Critics must know that there’s an upcoming breed of ‘media critics’ on the anvil ;-) and as King Khan famously said “no great movie was ever made by a critic”. 

Serious critics must spend 2 days in a restaurant set up to be able to understand the business they comment on for a living & more. Let the 1^st day be in a tandoori kitchen preferably in MAY or JUNE here in Delhi NCR. On the 2^nd day just spend some time with the promoters and finance guys to understand the crazy maze of legal and bureaucratic  processes that the industry is made to endure just to be in business. It’s good to be in the know and write about what goes behind putting up the show that you see.

Such content however neither raises eyebrows, nor increases TRP’s. If that’s the only look out though, god be with you!

It was the Sinner 1^st & now the Saint has also keyed in his take on “the assault of the critics”. As the Saint & the voice of reason, I would like your comments whether the food critic is a bane or a boon to our business.

Cheers............. DK (The Saint)

Every Saint Has A Past & Every Sinner Has A Future !

 

The Assault of the Critic - The Sinner's Venom !

Food, like Sex, is an area where, everybody thinks he/she is an Expert!

 Everybody seems to have a huge body of personal experiences to dig into and come out with, just that little thing that would make the experience, infinitely more enjoyable! Most, sincerely believe, that, their insights would prove to be invaluable for lesser mortals, with ‘milder’ sensory powers, to be able to truly appreciate both.

While Internet’s reach and ease of use, gave unparalleled and bludgeoning growth to the Sex industry; Social Media, provided the perfect platform as well as audience for the growth of Food Experts, but they somehow didn’t affect the Food Industry positively.

So anybody, who could afford lunch at an eatery, suddenly, became an expert and had a voice. They could write about this all over Facebook, Twitter, or closer to home, Burrp, Zomato or Tripadvisor! These writings, sometimes, found an audience online and definitely drew some response from the Food establishment. Sites like Zomato and Tripadvisor, even gave them online designations depending on the number of ‘reviews”, like Foodie, Big Foodie and Super Foodie! Tripadvisor has titles like, reviewer, top reviewer and Top contributor etc.!! Thus these set of highly encouraged experts, became, compulsive commentators on food and Restaurants, with scant regard to accuracy or quality.

Food establishments, soon, woke up to the fact that, this could be turned into a viable marketing medium. They thus employed their marketing teams and PR agencies to keep flooding these sites with fake reviews and experiential stories. Thus, online reviews soon became ‘noise’ and could not be distinguished between genuine or “plants”. The above mentioned ‘mortals’, now became, further befuddled and even less illuminated. Their ‘mild’ sensory powers now, became ‘muted’!

 Newspapers and Periodicals, immediately, took upon themselves the responsibility of ‘educating’ the ignorant populace about the finer aspects of dining and food.  They decided to stand out from the din and employ ‘Food experts’ who would get a weekly slot and a small purse to go and experience Hotels and Restaurants. The criteria for qualifying for the job?.. well,  good writing skills and…. and ,   that’s pretty much it! These new breed of ‘critics’ were often, young 20 something’s, with an air of superiority, a fake accent and an attitude, that would evoke a violent reaction from any normal self-respecting Chef! They are usually completely oblivious to the sheer hard work and perseverance that goes into putting together the restaurant. Not to mention, the financial burden, political/ bureaucratic manipulations and difficult legal tussle that the poor investor has to endure.

Thus was born the New-Age Food Critic! The Official, Self-proclaimed Food Expert!

As a Restaurant professional, I have scant regard for these ‘critics’. I hate the fact that, these self-proclaimed custodians of good dining, potentially, could write out eloquent obituaries for restaurants, just because, they wield the power to do so!  The writings are also often, quite shallow, error-ridden and more narrative than actual insights! Food writing is often just ‘tasting and reporting’ and focused simply, on meeting the word limit or time deadline!  Worse still, they may also depend on how deep the beneficiary restaurateur’s pockets are!! This breed of food critics seldom understand the importance or even the impact of the décor, ambience, lighting levels, music, smiling service or even a tiny little gesture, that could make a dining experience memorable! Normally the dishes that these critics ‘trash’ are works of passion by a diligent chef, who slogged his backside to get it right.

I look back wistfully, at the times when Food critics were widely travelled, highly respected Gourmets, who would have possibly been to distant lands to merely sample the local fare.  The Michelin star classifications or a diamond rating is still highly coveted today, purely because, of the quality of food inspectors and critics. I am often extremely nostalgic about the times when food criticism was an art and not a ‘job’ with a deadline. A truly, good critic, in my opinion, would visit a restaurant a number of times before writing about them. They would normally offer delightful insights about the dining experience that could even be at times philosophical.

Everyone has the right to an opinion, but not to express it, requires sense and sensibilities, which few people have !

"Every Saint has a Past and Every Sinner has a Future "

The Gym Brigade - The Sinner's Venom !

Gym is a noun and not a verb! Workout is the verb associated with gyms. Anybody who understands the difference, understands the importance of the Gym. Going to Gym is not the qualifier  here,  while actively working out is!

Modern lifestyles, pollution, mechanization, junk (Fast) food, rampant abuse of everything natural and organic, have given birth to problems and diseases that were relatively unknown or rare earlier. Heart conditions, Back problems, respiratory problems, cancers, diabetes, kidney stones, blood pressures, vitamin deficiencies,  take your pick and you will probably be fighting  at least one.

Technology had made our lives easier,... or has it really??  When was the last time you climbed a couple of flight of stairs? or maybe just ran for a short distance ( maybe to catch a bus)?  when was the last time you stood in a queue? or gone to the local market in scorching sun ( vitamin D)? Imagine navigating through an airport without travellators and escalators !! Imagine washing your own clothes without a washing machine , or  even cleaning your own car... It has been conclusively proven that there is a direct connect between all these factors and the current spew of  ailments.

   

In times that we are living in, open fields, playgrounds, access to stadiums and swimming pools etc. are seriously limited to the fortunate few, who either have the financial muscle or proximity to these facilities. For others, there is the neighborhood Gym! Even with the 'biological residue' or 'dingy basements'  as, my very learned friend points out, I would take it, any day.   Not everybody can afford the swanky gyms on the high street or the star hotel.  I much rather take my chance with these biological residue than fighting a chronic back ailment. Of course I shall give them a sermon on basic hygiene standards.

In my humble opinion,  as far as Gym-habits go, most people can be divided into four categories.

Category A :    The Dumbass " Gymmer" .. these category goes to the gym for reasons that are completely " un reasonable".  These are boys and girls who idolize some celebrity with a great body, and hit the gym hoping to build a body like them. These category, chooses the most fancy gyms, pays extra for personal trainers, consume all kinds of body building 'powders" steroids included, in their quest to get the results as quickly as possible. . In their steroid-induced dumbness , they would spend hours in front of a mirror , flexing muscles, mapping each millimeter of muscle gain,  walking around with t-shirts that their kids should fit into, and post their  intolerable pictures all over social media. Again the Brown-bread, egg white consumers are these category. Their only, I repeat, ONLY expectation from this whole exercise is to somehow look good enough to attract some equally dumbass member of the opposite sex.  These are the variety who does everything  DK , said and more...

Category B  :  The Kick Ass "Gymmer"....  Now these are your serious gymmers. They do not care about the quality of the gym and the equipment , but only about the quality of the 'work-out" . This category worships their own body and counters all the abuse and the ill-effects of the modern day lifestyle by trying to fight them.... by staying fit . They understand the importance of  balance in 'R-E-D'..  In Gym parlance, it stands for  Rest-Exercise-Diet. These are the category who will be very cautious about what they put into their mouth and constantly check labels of all products. They would understand their own body metabolism and adjust the R-E-D accordingly. This is where any kind of nutrition supplementation comes in. Logic is very simple, If you are working  your ass off  in the gym and burning calories, then you need to put in enough fuel ( read protein, carbs and vitamins) for your body to be able to counter the effect of heavy workout. The motivation here is not to build a body for others, but for self preservation.

Category C : The Non-Gymmer;   this is the category who cant be bothered. they are too lazy or indifferent about themselves to bother looking towards a workout regime. They usually have excuses by the dozen, as to why, they cant work out, common one being, " too busy with work/studies" , physical disability or ailments, and of course nature of the job, bad experience etc . This Category normally is so far away from a fit body that they feel, no matter how much they work out, it will not be possible to get back to shape. Interestingly, most people in this category will also live in denial or on past glory ! " In my school days I used to be a Gymnast / cricketer/  long distance runner" .This category normally has huge beer bellies and body fat to make a hippo shy!! The only strong muscle they have is in their jaws !!

Category D : The Non-Conformist Preacher ;  This is the most dangerous category. These are guys have disdain for anything new or "western" as a concept. Their natural reaction is to look at everything with disdain and doubt the core philosophy. Not only will they reject the idea of a gym, they will also influence every body within their span of influence. This category normally preaches about the ill-effects and negatives without fair consideration and put the scare of God in all the fence sitters. They confirm to Kejriwal's philosophy of Anarchism!!

Finally, Not all food supplements out there are harmful.  It is multi-billion dollar industry world wide and huge amount of money and research have been spent on researching these products. Food supplementation as the name suggests is only to "supplement" dietary requirements that cannot be fulfilled by consumption of normal food. Nobody disputes the intake of "natural and organic" diet. However, if a person is going through a heavy workout and needs lets say 160 gms of protein supplementation, he would probably be required to have 30 eggs, or maybe 2 kgs of dal or maybe two -three whole chicken. This requirement can be easily supplemented by a protein Isolate powder. the reason despite "working-out" all day, ploughing fields the laborer does not develop bulging muscles, is because they probably do not get enough supplementation for the kind of nutrition their body requires. Look at the physique of the Kenyan long distance runners.

Like all products, there are several cheap imitations and harmful fakes out there in the market. These are normally aggressively marketed by smart marketers, who  mislead and trap the gullible "Category A" to by these products.

Bottom line “beware of marketers" .. What do you say ?

"every saint has a past & every sinner has a future"

The Gym Brigade - The Saint's Take !

Agreed , staying fit is a must, however i cannot comprehend the ‘bhed chaal’ of the mango man towards gym’s for this purpose.

My take on this.

Gyms prominently showcase images of body builders to appeal to the male psyche. Ask the women & they’ll tell you they just prefer ‘normal’ men who are fit. Their stress is on intellect & the more you gym the more braun you develop.

Most (middle class) gyms are in poorly ventilated basements, leading to cross infections on a high dose, since every one is perspiring & leaving behind a whole lot of biological residue through sweat, breath & saliva.

Every gym goer from day 1 is seen wasting a lot of time in front of a full sized mirror. He is either admiring himself or fantasizing about what will never be. It’s been researched & documented that not even 40% of joiners gym regularly over a year’s period.

Gyms advice the standard foods to one & all. Any doctor worth his salt will tell you that different foods react differently on different people. Brown bread & egg whites are currently in vogue. As a bakery chef I can’t get any more disgusted. For gods sake please bake a bread with ATTA at home and see its texture & color. Be careful while handling it. It may crush your toe if it falls. Hey ! how then are the commercial brown breads all so soft & so brown? Simple, they are made of just the regular maida + some bran & a lot of brown color. Yes, Brown color!!! The kinds that has its origins from something you use on a daily basis. Petroleum! So much for good health!!! 

In simple terms the local kirana man sees a sharp increase in brown bread consumption the moment a gym opens in his vicinity. Please observe that this ‘so called brown bread’ will inevitably be far more expensive than the regular loaf. Well it has to be. After all it has the gym instructors commissions incorporated into the pricing & also the marketing mans fees who concocted this nefarious scheme.

The same logic applies to the egg white story. OK! I had the whites. So what do I do with the yolks??? In an age where an egg costs a good Rs.6-8 a piece, how many can afford flushing it down. Nateeja, while you diet someone else in the house is fed the yolk. He/she goes on to bloat with the high cholesterol diet & over a few months/years hits the gym. Incremental business again. If you will care enough to google up the production of ‘unfertilized eggs’ (which most of us are forced to consume due to cost effectiveness & are actually the ones available at this price), you will be glad your body has withstood such prolonged abuse.

The best of them all however is the ‘protein shakes’ & ‘whey protein” prescriptions. As a qualified chef I find it difficult to identify food substances (on a daily basis) that are devoid of proteins. Why then do we need a 2 – 5 kg tin of some powder which we will never know what it is composed of. The best thing about them is every pharma whom you contact for this will only have large swanky tins which have a ‘made in usa’ or any other godforsaken country mentioned on it. Simply put it cannot be made in India. Its too complicated a formula to be cooked up here. Factually , you will not pay so much for an Indian product. If whey has so much protein, why not make it at home, have it and save the moolah?

Spare a moment and look around yourself. The lower strata of society neither can afford nor is bothered about whey proteins, they however seem to flaunt 6 packs if not all of 8. Bottom line, hard work wins over work-outs!

At times it takes a lifetime to understand, but a moment post realization you have changed your life altogether. 

What do you say? I am anxious to know your thoughts.